


it's only been a moment (it's only been a lifetime)

by griffxnblake



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 11:12:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19722517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/griffxnblake/pseuds/griffxnblake
Summary: After the events at Mt. Weather, Arkadia is slowly establishing a working order and eventually even something resembling peace. The delinquents and the rest of their people from the Ark don't exactly see eye to eye on how to coexist, with Clarke and Bellamy still being seen as their leaders much to the disdain of the adults. Clarke never leaves at the gate, and a year later, tragedy strikes them once more and shakes them all to the core, especially Bellamy Blake. Four years later, he sets out to look for a potential solution on the impending destruction of Arkadia, and finds something he thought he lost forever.OR, the Hamlet/Lion King-inspired au no one asked for but actually turned into something that took on a life of its own. Also, the parallels were just sitting there right in front of my face and I had to do it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first official fic I've ever posted, so let's hope this isn't a total train wreck. 
> 
> I've been working on this for a few months and have more written, but instead of posting one massive one-shot, I'm going to divide it up into chapters. Also, since the new TLK is coming out next week I thought it would be a good time to just be brave and post this. On that note, let me know what you guys think! <3

It took Bellamy two weeks to finally find it.

Two long weeks of grueling travel and rainy days and nights and little food, but he’s finally found an oasis where he can hopefully rest. 

His bag falls heavy from his shoulders and onto the ground where he decides to make camp, and he can barely find the energy to start a fire. At least he’s grateful that there’s wood and kindling around as far as the eye can see.

While Arkadia used to have its fair share of green land and trees, it doesn’t compare to this valley he’s suddenly stumbled upon. Everything here seems so much more alive and abundant and lush that he almost can’t believe he found it on foot. There’s birds singing in the trees, small wildlife bounding in and among the brush, almost not even afraid of seeing a human in their territory. It feels like he’s found a paradise, and for a selfish moment, he considers not telling his people back home about it. Surely, they would ruin it in record time.

Several hours later when the sun is just beginning to fall and Bellamy has managed to eat what he was able to trap, he feels himself drift off to sleep, his head resting on his backpack and jacket slung over his shoulders.

—-

He hadn’t exactly run into many people in the last few weeks, at least not anyone that would be able to help him. 

He wasn’t even exactly sure what he thought he might find, and wondered if he might have been better off trying to find a solution in Arkadia. But when he thinks of the dilapidated cabins and remains of the Ark and the miserable, sunken, and fearful faces of adults and children alike, he knows he couldn’t just sit by and watch any longer. That wasn’t who he was, who his people, his sister, and the delinquents used to look up to. He only told a chosen trusted few - Miller, Octavia, and Raven - his plan and while they were initially reluctant, agreed it was worth a shot. 

Once Bellamy is completely awake and decides to begin the day, he carefully goes through the little remains of his rations and decides he’ll need to hunt soon. Judging by what he was able to catch last night for dinner, animals were definitely not strangers to the area, and he knows his chances are better here. 

Around midday, he’s successfully caught some small game, two rabbits and a squirrel, and saves what he doesn’t eat for later. He wishes his friends were here so he could share, and hopes things back at home haven’t gotten worse or that anyone’s facing trouble because of his suspicious absence.

Deciding that it’s probably best for him to stay here at least another night to rest and stock up on food, Bellamy decides to explore the area, hoping that with this land and its abundant resources that a village might be nearby. He doesn’t even know what he would say to them. That he’s just passing through? That he’s looking for help for his people that all the Grounder clans seem to hate? Right, he’s sure that will go over just fine.

Things hadn’t always been this awful in Arkadia, he muses as he finds a small lake and fills his canteen. It used to be on the verge of being brilliant, or at least as brilliant as things could be on earth. After the hundred had been sent down and were barely managing to survive the elements and the constant threat of grounders, and the Ark had eventually come down, they seemed to be on the brink of collapse. The delinquents and the Arkers were constantly at odds over how to run camp, how to form an infrastructure among them, he and- Well, leadership had always been a major issue. 

However, after about a year of intense negotiating and establishing boundaries and treaties, things had finally begun to go their way. They had begun trading goods and sharing information about crops and medicine and Arkadia had finally started thriving under Abby Griffin’s leadership. That is, until tragedy struck and ultimately forced her to step down. It was definitely one of the darkest times in Arkadia’s five-year history, one from which Bellamy is still trying to recover. He’s spent years wondering what he could have done differently that might have produced a different outcome, carrying his guilt around all these years. He was her best friend, he should have been there with her. Maybe he could have brought her home.

One night becomes two, and two becomes three, and Bellamy isn’t exactly sure why he’s finding it so difficult to leave this valley. Other than the obvious reasons, he knows he has a mission, that he’s needed somewhere and he could be his people’s last hope for any kind of salvation. He’s never felt this hesitant before, never felt this pull on his being that he needs to stay here, that he’s meant to be here, and it’s unnerving.

He never finds another village, or any sort of evidence of people living there on permanent basis. The only thing he ever really finds are charred remains of firewood and ash that could have been there for months.

It’s on the fourth day that he spots something, and every fiber of his being feels on edge as he can barely make out the faint plumes of smoke off in the distance when he’s walking along the tree line atop the rolling hills of the valley. It’s further west than he’s gone, but it’s definitely in the valley and a million questions begin to run through his head. Is it a loner, someone just passing through? A family, a village?

He sets off to the area he sees the smoke coming from, even now that’s it gone and the late afternoon sun has begun to cast shadows among the forest. He’s only going to look, and if he sees any signs of danger he’ll head back to his camp. But he needs to know if this could possibly be the answer to his problems.

It takes him about another half hour or so to approach his target area, and Bellamy finds it odd that he hasn’t seen a trace of anyone else yet. He thought for sure he’d find more signs of life by this point. Then, he hears it.

Making sure to be as silent as possible, Bellamy creeps forward to the clearing where he hears what appears to be the frustrated sighs and groans of a child. His senses are on full alert as he approaches the clearing, and sure enough, she’s there: a young dark-haired girl, no older than ten or twelve, holding her ankle and trying to wrap it with a makeshift bandage.

She seems to be alone, and Bellamy wonders if she’s on her own or if she has a family nearby. If she’s hurt, he can’t just leave her here. It strikes him just how much she reminds him of a young Octavia and the thought of leaving her to fend for herself pains him.

He wants to make himself known, but also not frighten her and he’s trying to figure out how to go about that in the best possible way. He can only imagine how terrifying it would be for a young girl if a strange man suddenly appeared. He doesn’t get much time to think about it before he hears the unmistakable click of a gun.

“Hands up and _back away **slowly.”**_

The voice is that of a woman’s, that much Bellamy can tell, and doesn’t hesitate to do what she asks. He puts his hands up where she can see them and slowly begins to back away from where he could see the young injured girl. How could he be this stupid, he should have known to be more careful.

Twigs and leaves crunch under the weight of his boots and he’s not even exactly sure how long she expects him to do this. Shouldn’t she have just shot him by now?

“I wasn’t going to harm her, I just saw the smoke and then it sounded like she was hurt,” he starts, his voice even.

“And why should I believe that?”

_And why should I believe that, Bellamy?_

_Because, Princess, I’m older and you should just trust me on this._

_You really are something else, Blake. You might be older but you can’t tell me what I can and can’t do._

The memory stings Bellamy like a bullet. No. That can’t be right. Why would he remember that at a time like this? It’s not her, there’s no way it’s her. She’s been-

“I said, _why_ should I believe that? Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t just shoot you where you stand,” the woman snarls, and Bellamy can hear her shift as though bracing herself for a struggle.

His mouth goes dry and he almost can’t hear anything over the roar of his heartbeat and he knows he’s just setting himself up for more anguish, but if his last moments in life are spent thinking about his best friend - his _person_ \- then so be it.

“You’re Skaikru,” he says, his voice filled with a bit more conviction than he feels. “And so am I.”

He can hear her sharp intake of breath and the soft clink of the gun as her grip falters. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, just shut up and get the fuck away from here before I-“ 

He would recognize that voice anywhere.

“....Clarke?”

He finally chances a glance over his shoulder and it’s as if he’s seeing a ghost, the one that’s haunted his dreams and thoughts for the last four years.

Her hair is shorter now, but still the same shade of blonde he remembers. And her eyes, even more piercing blue than he remembers, the corners now beginning to shine and glimmer against her skin. She’s wearing different clothes than what he ever recalls her wearing, though it seems as though it's seen better days, her jacket looking a bit threadbare. But it’s undoubtedly her, right down to the small beauty mark above her lip. She’s just as striking as ever, and it’s as though the breath is knocked out of him.

He turns toward her completely now, his hands still placed defensively in front of him, and that seems to do the trick because the next thing he knows her aggressive facade is gone and her expression softens as she holds back tears.

“....Bellamy?”

He never thought he’d ever hear her say his name again, not like this, sounding so fragile with the tiniest shred of something else. Hope? He almost forgets to nod before giving her a small smile. She’s slowly walking toward him now, and Bellamy worries that with each step she could easily just vanish again like she did all those years ago.

He’s not sure he remembers how to move his feet, they feel as heavy as cinder blocks now, but when she’s only inches away from him, she slowly reaches her hand out, palm facing toward him, and when it finally touches the front of his jacket her face crumples in what looks like disbelief and joy.

Not wasting another moment, he crushes her to him and she naturally molds against him, her arms coming up and securing around his neck, his own wrapping around her waist.

“Clarke, I…” The words die in his throat. They feel like they wouldn’t be enough, not after all this time.

He can feel her shaking in his arms, the collar of his shirt now damp with her tears, and they stay like that for several minutes or hours, he’s not sure anymore and quite frankly, he doesn’t care. He never plans on letting her go ever again.

He pours everything he can into the embrace: every word he never got to say to her, the apology he was never able to give, every regret, everything that was left unspoken between them up until that day. He buries his face into the space between her neck and shoulder, pressing his lips to the side of her head.

“Wh-What are you doing here?” He finally hears her whisper, her voice thick with tears. “You’re nowhere near Arkadia, you shouldn’t be-“

“Me? Clarke, you…” He finally pulls away slightly to look at her properly, and the mix of relief and anguish is clear in her eyes. “Clarke, you’ve been here? This whole time? I...We all thought…”

Her expression falls and he can feel her grip on his loosen. She doesn’t meet his eyes and wipes away a few tears with the back of her hand. 

“It doesn’t matter,” she murmurs. “I just can’t believe you’re here.”

Her words strike him like freezing water and he looks at her with confusion. _It doesn’t matter? What on earth was she talking about? It was everything._

__

__

“Clarke, what-“

He’s interrupted by the sudden rustling of grass and branches and arrival of the young girl from before, peeking out from behind a nearby tree.

“Clarke? What’s going on? Who is this?”

The young girl reminds him even more of a younger Octavia up close and Bellamy can see that she’s still shifting her weight to one side so as not to step on her injured leg.

Clarke immediately straightens up, a soft smile on her lips as she wipes away the last few tears on her cheek.

“Madi, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Clarke finally start to have a conversation.
> 
> —
> 
> Whoops it’s been three months since I posted the first chapter 💀

He meets the young girl named Madi and Bellamy finds out that she and Clarke has met a few years back when Madi had been on her own and searching for food, attempting to steal Clarke’s bag in the process. It took several weeks but after Clarke had tried to prove she was safe and trustworthy, Madi had eventually decided to stay with Clarke.

After that, the two girls had found and settled in this valley that they call Eden, and managed to build a small haven for themselves, tucked away and covered in greenery and ivy. The dilapidated cabin they find one day is practically falling apart and needs a new roof, but they turn it into a home.

It was an interesting dynamic, seeing Clarke with a younger child. The way they smile at each other and effortless closeness between them demonstrates just how comfortable they are with each other (and it reminds him of how he and Octavia used to be). Not quite a mother figure but also more than a sibling, they clearly had a strong bond and Bellamy is glad that after all this time that Clarke hasn’t been alone.

It’s later in the evening after they’ve eaten dinner (Clarke and Madi are way better at trapping than he is) and Madi has wandered off into their small cabin to sleep that he finally gets to be alone with his best friend he believed to be dead all this time. 

The silence is deafening.

They’re both sitting around the small fire now, Clarke across from him and her knees brought up to her chin as she gazes into the flames. Bellamy can’t stop - doesn’t want to stop - looking at her, as if she could disappear again at any given moment and he’ll go back to how he used to be when it first happened.

He decides to break the silence. “She’s a really great kid. You should be proud of yourself, for everything you do for her,” he starts, his tone even and unable to gauge Clarke’s expression. He hates that, he realizes. They used to be so in sync, able to understand each other with the simplest of glances and now it’s almost as if starting all over.

Her trance breaks and she glances up at him, her eyes shining and looking as though she just realized he was there. “I didn’t really do much. She’s just great on her own,” she answers, turning her focus on a small rock next to her and flicking it with her finger.

He’s always known Clarke to be more reserved with her emotions, more private, but now if feels as though he has no clue how to read Clarke Griffin anymore and his chest tightens.

“You’ve done a lot, Clarke. Even if you don’t see it.”

She gives a noncommittal shrug of her shoulders and sighs. “Why don’t you just ask what you want to ask and get it over with.”

She doesn’t even look toward him as she says this and Bellamy is a bit caught off guard by her bluntness and even though he is dying to ask, he can’t bring himself to just yet.

“We’ve all really missed you. Like, really missed you, Clarke. Everything changed after that day.” His whole life.

It’s all a blur to him now. The search parties, finding Jake’s body, finding absolutely no trace of his daughter, the anguished cries of Abby and the look of shock and horror on everyone’s faces as well as the somber weeks that followed. He remembers feeling as though he were walking around with boulders in his stomach, on his shoulders, caught in his throat. The sleepless months and nightmares. The secretive looks of pity thrown at him wherever he went.

She shuts her eyes as if she’s trying to block out the idea of the people she’s left behind and he wonders if maybe he came off as too accusatory. 

“Yeah. It did.”

They don’t speak for several minutes, but Clarke hasn’t gotten up to leave yet. He figures if she really didn’t want to talk she would have left by now, right?

“Clarke, I...“ Where does he even start? He runs a hand through his hair and lets out a sigh. “You know, it’s like I’m looking at a ghost or something, I still can’t- I mean, you’re actually here and it’s like you’re back from the dead and I’m so _happy_ but there’s so much I don’t get.”

He pauses to see her reaction, maybe this is too much and she’s going to finally run. She still isn’t looking at him, and even in the firelight can tell her brow is furrowed and jaw clenched tight. He’s not sure he can stop himself now.

“You’ve been alive all this time. And you never came back,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. 

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because.”

“Because of what?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“What wouldn’t I understand?!”

“Bellamy, it doesn’t matter now, it’s already been done.”

He stands up now, staring in disbelief at the young woman across the fire. “Excuse me? _It doesn’t matter?”_

She sends him a warning glare. “Keep it down. Madi,” she whispers angrily at him and he didn’t realize his voice had risen.

This wasn’t what he wanted. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go, not since he first saw her earlier. But now that he’s seen her and she doesn’t seem too bothered by the fact that she abandoned her people, abandoned _him,_ he’s ready to pick this fight.

 _“Clarke._ How on earth can you say this doesn’t matter?” he asks more quietly now, though the anger is definitely still present. “We thought you were dead, your mom- Jesus, your mom is going to lose her mind when she-“

“She doesn’t have to know,” Clarke says, interrupting him, her voice much harsher now than it was before. “Nobody has to know.”

His jaw goes slack and it’s as though the air has been sucked from his lungs. “Clarke, what is the matter with you? You can’t expect me to find you and then just go back and keep it a secret!”

“That’s exactly what I expect you to do!” she exclaims as she finally stands up and storms off into the trees behind her. He scoffs in disbelief and goes to follow her, more than ready to give her a piece of his mind that’s at least a little further away from Madi. 

The brush and the branches are loud as they push their way through them, and he realizes there must not be any significant danger if Clarke is leading him this way.

He trails after her, trying to get her to talk, to say anything that would explain her bizarre behavior, when she leads him to cave several minutes away from camp.

She marches inside, pacing back and forth as he catches up and by now he’s fuming. 

He meets her midstep, firmly grabbing her arms so she doesn’t have a chance to turn away or run, and now she has to look at him.

 _“Are you insane?_ Why the hell wouldn’t you want to go back to your own people? You have family and friends…” _You have me._ “They all think you died that day in the gorge!”

She’s adamantly trying not to meet his gaze, but her stoic expression is beginning to crumble and he thinks he can see the beginning of tears in her eyes. “Bellamy, you don’t even...It’s complicated. I wouldn’t stay away without a reason, just trust me!”

They’re only inches apart now and he hates seeing her like this, hates that he’s caused it. Her eyes are even more captivatingly blue and he knows his memory didn’t do them any damn justice.

“Then make it uncomplicated. Please. Just...please,” he tells her, and she falters so slightly that he thinks maybe she finally will.

He realizes he’s still holding on to her so he lets her go, and to his surprise she doesn’t back away from him.

“You’re going to hate me. She’s going to hate me,” she whispers, her voice cracking.

His face softens and he shakes his head. “That’s not true. We could never-“

“Bellamy… It’s my fault. I’m the reason my dad is dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know if people would like to see more of this story so, as always, feedback is always always appreciated 💛💛

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! If you made it to this part then I already know that it feels like I jumped into the reunion pretty quickly but everything else will be explained in the following chapters along with a bunch of angst. Enjoy :)


End file.
